In life, we may find it easy to allow ourselves to love and accept multitudes of other people, but when it comes to loving ourselves we're not as forgiving. In fact, we can be quite relentless in our pursuit of perfection. Self-love has nothing to do with using yourself as the object of your love. Self-love means that your love comes from within is generated from within, not from “loving” any object because it may please you tremendously, whether that object is someone else or yourself. Self-love is a condition of awareness, a way of perceiving, and an attitude, which results in an integrated perception of the world.

Before we can have a truly successful relationship, we must first learn to feel love for ourselves.

 I have seen is that when we give from a depleted place within ourselves, which is often the case when we don't truly receive, strings can be attached to our generosity. At times, we may actually be giving to others as an indirect way to get our own needs met instead of coming from a purely selfless place. We may need to feel important and valued. Because we're not valuing ourselves.

Here are some clues to help identify if this describes you:

• Do you strongly react when your needs are ignored even though you realize that you didn't clearly ask for what you want?
• Do you sometimes wonder in those moments of self-honesty - when is it going to be my turn?
• Are there times that you feel overwhelmed from giving?
• Does your body sometimes shout either through a tight jaw or a tense gut that you've had enough?
• Do you often feel hurt or defensive with the people who love you?
• How much pressure is there on those who love you to show you that you are indeed loved?
• Do the important people in your life need to reassure you of their love on an almost day-to-day basis because you can forget?